Setting boundaries may feel strange but it will help you to live a more fulfilling life. Below you can find out 9 simple ways to exercise setting boundaries and learn a few signs that you lack boundaries.
Are you someone who takes the actions of others personally?
Boundaries are not always noticeable, so when they've been breached, it can leave you feeling confused and angry.
Establishing what you are okay with and what you will not tolerate can happen unintentionally.
But for a lot of us it takes time and practice to live mindfully and stop people pleasing.
Soon you'll be able to identify warning signs and discover a few tips to assist you with combating old habits.
5 Signs you lack boundaries
Helping others leaves a bad taste in your mouth
It's easy to say that you don't want to do something and still do it. It's an obedient cycle that began in childhood and proceeded into adulthood
It started with doing homework in elementary school and became reinforced when we got our first job.
We constantly do things for other people to the point where it feels unnatural to say no.
This especially becomes the case when you're good at something. Now your friends are asking you to take on task you normally wouldn't, your family wants you to cook, and you hear everyone else vent, but no one stops to ask how you're feeling.
Bitter, angry, passive aggressive, disappointed, tired, and lacking patience is how most people feel after engaging in an activity, that they desperately wanted to avoid.
People in your life get upset when you tell them no
A lot of the times those who have access to you will see what you have to offer.
Maybe you talk about a skill or they have witnessed it. This can result in a sense of entitlement and [sometimes unintentional] exploitation.
When you turn down their offer they may begin to lash out verbally or even commit aggressive acts such as slamming cabinet doors. Some may even resort to silent treatment in an effort to make you feel bad.
YOU get upset when someone says no
Without an understanding that no one in this world owes you anything, disappointment and frustration comes easy. We like to think that we have earned the right to our partners body, our friends company and for the world to align in our favor
The water becomes murky when you forget that you are dealing with circumstances outside of your control.
It bothers you when someone doesn't follow your advice
Advice is simply a suggestion.
When someone doesn’t follow your instructions and it negatively affects them are you quick to hurdle an I told you so? Are you deeply burdened by their problems and allowing it to affect your health, sleeping patterns and mood?
Being unable to see that change won't happen until they're ready can cause you stress.
It can also prompt you to act out of the ordinary. Alluding that you are qualified to be someones doctor, lawyer, or therapist because you believe you're right.
You begin to question why people are friends with you
After all of the hard work is done, you wonder whether the people in your life would be there if you didn't always assist.
This can leave you feeling empty, alone, confused, and even ashamed for having those thoughts.
Questioning who you are and who you would be if you sat in the background more often, is a clear sign that you may be tired of your routine and afraid to deviate paths.
The goal is to feel comfortable and know that the people around you enjoy your presence even when the focus is on you. If the conversation shifts to your wants and needs, they don't turn away, instead they lend an ear.